New Beginning

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” 

 
― C. JoyBell C.

 

 

I did it!  I married a good man.  I married a man I have been friends with for a lot of years.  It is time to start again fresh.  Fresh and happy.  We married in my parents living room, they signed as our witnesses.  All my sisters and my brother were there.  Most of their spouses made it, too.  Some of their kids.  My daughter and granddaughter were there.  It was a wonderful day.  One I hope to remember all the days of my life.  I want to remember how lucky I am to have him.  This is the man I want to look at every morning and smile.  We deserve this.  We deserve now.  I hope you are all as blessed as we are. 

 

 



Death, New Life and Marriage...Life Marches On

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

Robert Burns



I have sad news.  My best friend passed away in August from small cell lung cancer.  She fought valiantly for a year before it stole her away from us.  She and I were supposed to grow gracefully into old age, sharing events and secrets and just life in general.  I loved her like a sister and still do today.  I always will.  I still talk to her and sent her emails to tell her wonderful and disappointing things.  I am not sure how to heal from this.  I know it will take time. She won't be here for my wedding...more on that in a minute.

Meet my Great Grandparents on my Mother's side.  William and Queen Victoria. 

 

Let me tell you a story.

 

On October 11th, I was marrying the love of my life.  His name is Bruce, I have known him for years, and he is a very good man.  When we found out 5 years ago that I have a very progressive form of Multiple Sclerosis, I was afraid it would scare him off.  He said "We will get through this together."  He meant it.  He has been changing his house for me, moving into the main level bedroom, adding a ramp for my wheelchair, widening doors.  My Grandmother, Lillian, told me to marry my best friend.  This time I listened.

 

He lives a two day drive from me.  He was one day into the drive, 12 hours on the road, when he decided to spend the night in Indiana.  Early the next morning, I checked my messages to find his beautiful daughter's water had broken early.  I told her I would turn him around and I did.  He didn't make it in time for the birth of his first Granddaughter, Cassidy, she was in a big hurry to meet her Mother in person.  He did get there soon afterward.  He is a very proud Grandpa!!  My daughter is calling Cassidy the wedding crasher.  lol.  We have postponed our marriage one month to November 8th.  I am excited to meet this little girl!  This was the perfect reason to delay starting my life with my soulmate. 

 

My best friend won't be standing with me.  Her name is Penny.  I have ordered a special necklace from Etsy.  It has a silver disk with her name and the year.  It has a penny and then a heart on top.  I have asked her husband for a penny from her purse.  My Dad and Bruce will use my Grandfather John's handmade drill press to drill the hole in Penny's penny and we will exchange the pennies in the necklace.   I will show you when it is done.  I will have her with me on my wedding day.

 

Things are busy around here.  Sorting, donating, throwing away, packing and moving!  I have spent a long time being afraid to marry after a bad marriage.  I have spent a long time healing.  I am ready for my happily ever after.  :)



Loss

I cannot say and I will not say
That she is dead, she is just away.
With a cheery smile and a wave of hand...
She has wandered into an unknown land;
And left us dreaming how very fair
Its needs must be, since she lingers there.

 

And you-oh you, who the wildest yearn
From the old-time step and the glad return-
Think of her faring on, as dear
In the love of there, as the love of here
Think of her still the same way, I say;
She is not dead, she is just away.

 

James Whitcomb Riley, American poet (1849 - 1916)

 

 

30 May 1952 - 11 August 2014

Life Moves On

"Life goes on within you and without you."

~The Beatles

I am retired.  Kicking and screaming.  27 February, 2014.  Yesterday, I had a new addition to my life, his name is Bob.  Or 808, Sue couldn't tell.  I prefer 808 of 9.  He lifts, he tilts, he whirls 180 degrees!!!  He is a snazzy red and will take me to places I can no longer go without him.  For that I am grateful.  Today, as part of my physical therapy, Bob and Sue and I went for a "walk" to Walgreens, crossing two streets.  In and out of doors is still a challenge, heck, going straight poses a challenge, as the gash in the paint on her wall will attest.   Now, someone needs to teach him to open doors.  Maybe I need a guide monkey.

I am just finishing a pair of socks tonight and am hoping to get them blocked.  I joined a sock swap and am hoping she will like them.  You know how it is when you knit for another knitter.  Will she see my mistake?  Will it fit her perfectly?  Will the color be alright?  I will post pictures after I have them blocked, she does not visit me here, yet.

God Bless!

Life's Changes

When we feel that we are unfairly punished or we are being taken advantage of, we have to remember this.  There is always something to learn, something to let go or something to be thankful for.

~ Wandini

 

 

My life was not supposed to move in this direction.  From early on, I imagined a life similar to, but not the same as, Tasha Tudor.  I learned to knit and crochet. I took a class to learn to spin with a drop spindle (I still want to learn to spin).  In a previous marriage, we had goats because of Tasha.  I learned to can and dry food.  I blended my own teas.  I quilted.  I gardened.  I loved animals.  I had a turkey named Eep (because that is what the turkey said when I asked her what her name was not long after she hatched).  I envisioned retirement to be full of all the loves I had cultivated throughout my life.  I really loved rummaging and going to garage sales with friends. 

 

In my header picture, all of those things (the pots and tables and iron obelisk) were found that way.  The cherub tables, there are two, were purchased at a garage sale for me by my friend, Penny.  It was one of the last ones we were able to go to.  I got so tired, I went to sit in the Jeep to wait for her to finish.  Waiting was not a problem, it gave me time to rest.  There had only been one table when I was in there, but Penny talked the woman into selling her the second one the lady had decided to keep so she could give me a pair.  She really is a great friend.  I will have them always.  I hope I have her always, too.  That is a story for another day.

 

I needed time to rest, I found out a few months later, because I have Multiple Sclerosis.  That sure explained a lot.  I was always tired, my legs, the left one especially, were not working well.  I soon went from a cane to a walker.  There were a lot more symptoms going on, but I refused to cave.  I told my Supervisor and Commander I refused to quit.  A lot of people worked through this and so would I.  I have, for 4 1/2 years.  I can't anymore and will be retiring very soon. 

 

I have a wonderful man in my life, Bruce.  He has always told me, since my diagnosis, we will get through this together.  Even before he would read about what this would do to me, to us.  I loved him before that, but let's face it, that clinched the deal.  We will be starting our lives together this summer most likely. 

 

My wheelchair has been ordered and approved by my insurance company.  It will have power and tilt and elevate, sounds like an expensive car.  At $15,000, it is almost a car.  

 

Bruce is a gardener.  We will have at least one tall raised bed so I can help.  We will need to put in wide paths so the wheelchair can navigate.  I still knit, just very slowly now.  My physical therapist has told me never to stop, it is excellent therapy.  Our animals will be cats, he has one, I have one who is a little old lady at 16.  We both like reading.  My canning days are surely over, but I should still be able to dehydrate and freeze.  I still enjoy tea, my favorite drink. 

 

My life is changing.  Not the way I wanted.  It looks like it will be okay, though.  I still have a lot to learn and a lot to be thankful for.  I have wonderful family and friends who have all helped me and still offer help.  Marge, another good friend just did and always does.  I have Bruce.  I have Schuster.  I am not sure how, but things will always be fine.

 

No pictures this time, but there will be a next time.  Soon I will have more time to post again.  I miss it.  It was fun going back through the old posts.