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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Life's Changes

When we feel that we are unfairly punished or we are being taken advantage of, we have to remember this.  There is always something to learn, something to let go or something to be thankful for.

~ Wandini

My life was not supposed to move in this direction.  From early on, I imagined a life similar to, but not the same as, Tasha Tudor.  I learned to knit and crochet. I took a class to learn to spin with a drop spindle (I still want to learn to spin).  In a previous marriage, we had goats because of Tasha.  I learned to can and dry food.  I blended my own teas.  I quilted.  I gardened.  I loved animals.  I had a turkey named Eep (because that is what the turkey said when I asked her what her name was not long after she hatched).  I envisioned retirement to be full of all the loves I had cultivated throughout my life.  I really loved rummaging and going to garage sales with friends. 
In my header picture, all of those things (the pots and tables and iron obelisk) were found that way.  The cherub tables, there are two, were purchased at a garage sale for me by my friend, Penny.  It was one of the last ones we were able to go to.  I got so tired, I went to sit in the Jeep to wait for her to finish.  Waiting was not a problem, it gave me time to rest.  There had only been one table when I was in there, but Penny talked the woman into selling her the second one the lady had decided to keep so she could give me a pair.  She really is a great friend.  I will have them always.  I hope I have her always, too.  That is a story for another day.
I needed time to rest, I found out a few months later, because I have Multiple Sclerosis.  That sure explained a lot.  I was always tired, my legs, the left one especially, were not working well.  I soon went from a cane to a walker.  There were a lot more symptoms going on, but I refused to cave.  I told my Supervisor and Commander I refused to quit.  A lot of people worked through this and so would I.  I have, for 4 1/2 years.  I can't anymore and will be retiring very soon. 
I have a wonderful man in my life, Bruce.  He has always told me, since my diagnosis, we will get through this together.  Even before he would read about what this would do to me, to us.  I loved him before that, but let's face it, that clinched the deal.  We will be starting our lives together this summer most likely. 
My wheelchair has been ordered and approved by my insurance company.  It will have power and tilt and elevate, sounds like an expensive car.  At $15,000, it is almost a car.  
Bruce is a gardener.  We will have at least one tall raised bed so I can help.  We will need to put in wide paths so the wheelchair can navigate.  I still knit, just very slowly now.  My physical therapist has told me never to stop, it is excellent therapy.  Our animals will be cats, he has one, I have one who is a little old lady at 16.  We both like reading.  My canning days are surely over, but I should still be able to dehydrate and freeze.  I still enjoy tea, my favorite drink. 
My life is changing.  Not the way I wanted.  It looks like it will be okay, though.  I still have a lot to learn and a lot to be thankful for.  I have wonderful family and friends who have all helped me and still offer help.  Marge, another good friend just did and always does.  I have Bruce.  I have Schuster.  I am not sure how, but things will always be fine.
No pictures this time, but there will be a next time.  Soon I will have more time to post again.  I miss it.  It was fun going back through the old posts.

1 comment:

Qutecowgirl said...

Oh Lynn I have been thinking of you and having my fingers crossed for you. Life just seems to throw curve balls all the time. It seems when life becomes the new normal something happens and a new normal needs to be found. Hugs -gently